Article after article written on punishment focus on the harmful effects such behavior has on the abused. But what of the administrator? If one uses punishment to control others he is not only hurting the recipients, he is seriously harming himself as well. There are grave consequences for any individual who chooses to dole out punishment. Indeed, using punishment is akin to using a sword that is sharp at the handle as well as its tip-all involved will suffer.

Punishment decreases a parent’s use of positive disciplinary measures and creates a parent-child relationship that is governed by negative dynamics such as fear and pain. This is because using punishment, even once, increases the likelihood one will use it again and again. Punishment is likely to be reiterated because each time an individual does something that results in an desired outcome, he is more inclined to repeat that particular action. Lets use Fido the dog as an example. Every time Fido shakes a paw he is rewarded with a dog bone. Fido enjoys this so he starts shaking a paw with increasing frequency. For humans this means if we are hitting and spanking our children to stop a behavior and that behavior stops, we are likely to use the same technique with our children again. Clearly, I’m sure we can agree, that repeatedly hurting our children is not something we wish to do. When one finds out they are going to be a mother or father he or she usually invests a great deal of time planning to be the best parent ever. Using punishment dramatically increases the odds that one will use it again. As a result, other positive discipline options may be ignored and one’s relationship with his or her children will be marred.

Punishment is detrimental to social relationships and may result legal action or incarceration. The reason being is that using punishment "successfully" can cause our aggressive behavior to extend to others. Lets consider Fido again. Fido has learned that shaking a paw results in a positive event occurring-he receives a dog treat. As a result, Fido begins shaking a paw with everyone he meets in an effort to increase his daily intake of dog treats. For people using punishment with their child this means they may consider using such negative methods with others. Punishment worked to get you the desired consequences with your child so why not with your wife, husband, or the man at the convenience store that stepped in front of you in line? This is clearly problematic as I am sure we can all agree that getting charged with assault or domestic abuse is not on our "to do list". Punishment is a dangerous weapon for one to employ since its use can quickly extend from one individual to others creating serious rifts in social relationships and possible negative consequences for everyday life.

Additionally, punishment can create serious health problems for the administrator. When one punishes a child by spanking or hitting it is usually because he or she is very angry and has lost control. Anger has serious detrimental effects on our health. Documented negative effects of anger include an accelerated heart rate, decreased effectiveness of the immune system and increased risk of illnesses such as heart disease and heart attacks. Recommended solutions for dealing with anger do not include yelling, hitting and hurting. In fact anger management suggestions are counting to ten, taking deep breaths or removing oneself from the situation until one calms down. Spanking a child is not a recommended solution. In fact frequently, even after an individual has hurt another he or she is still angry. Therefore, individuals using punishment to stop a child’s negative behavior and rid themselves of anger have failed. Indeed, since administering punishment increases the length of time one spends being angry one is actually putting himself in grave danger of acquiring life threatening health problems.

Finally, using punishment to control a child’s behavior may result in one becoming an abuser. Parents that spank their children often end up perpetrating the cycle for abuse. Due to guilt and negative feelings in how one treated a child the individual compensates. One feels badly for spanking a child so he or she rewards the child by taking her for ice cream or buying her a gift. The abuse cycle has three phases-tension building, making up and the calm phase. Giving gifts generally occurs in the calm phase of the cycle. How does one not feel like an abuser when he or she is clearly trapped in the abuse cycle? No one wants to be called an abuser yet using punishment dramatically increases our risk of becoming one.

All parents feel frustrated, angry and at a loss of what to do with their children from time to time. However, resorting to spanking, yelling and hurting is not a solution. Employing such tactics creates pain and hardship for ourselves as well as our children. As parents we need to make good choices when we don’t know what to do or start to lose control. Otherwise we risk using punishment, a double edged sword that harms all involved-including ourselves.